LSH looked to rebound from last weeks last minute defeat to League leaders Moore by making the short trip across the Mersey at it's lowest bridging point. Others to use this to their advantage include the Roman Emperor Commodus (fancied his sister in the film Gladiator, still popular in Padgate) on his way to smash the Druids on Anglesey and Oliver Cromwell on his way to smash the Scots,(3 cheers to you sir!)

Following unheard of human resource issues LSH management had to send some players home as too many declared themselves available. The trip alas was made without the celebrity Dallas pairing of JR and the Poison Dwarf who had to slum it in tight fitting kits in the 2nd XV.

The late departure, and the fact Warrington has heated changing rooms meant LSH strolled onto the field without announcing the team or practicing any facet of play. (coaches please note)As the former LSH Captain Williams took the field he was greeted with a chorus of 'Sam Tomkins' style booing.

LSH spent the first 8 minutes holding wave of Warrington attacks in their own 22, when a Warrington player spilt the ball, young Andrew 'pool guy' Brady swooped on the loose ball and proceeded to confound various laws of physics and the Universe. Last week Brady was caught by every large and old gentleman the opposition had, faced with the young Warrington backs he decided to dance Round them and race 60 yards downfield. Unfortunately his "happy feet" became tangled and like a rockhopper on an ice flow was marooned until Geezer Alexander rescued him and his smart pass allowed the aforementioned Williams to break a couple of tackles as it looked like he may be driven over the line by the away pack , the home side infringed.

As the merits of the penalty were debated by both sides, visiting Skipper Holland took a quick tap, he  was initially rebuffed, but a phalanx of human flesh made of Prescott, Pickavance and Blemmings The Hairy forced the rebounding centre over the line.

Predictably Warrington returned to the attack and after spurning one chance with a forward pass seen from a passing Easyjet flight to Marbella. They created another only for Ben Holland to intercept and stretch away to touch down from inside his own half, again Phil O Brien converted to take the lead to 14 nil. This state of affairs could not continue and despite manful defending from Blemmings the Smooth, Hitchen Secundus and Disco Duckers , Warrington went in for a converted try. More manful defending and good interplay between the Back Row and Half Backs saw LSH gain field position and when the home side infringed following good forward play from Carlton, Henry, Ellis and Williams, O Brien added 3 to make it 17 v7 to the visitors at half time.

Holland led the troops manfully through the chat of what was needed , all listened intently all understood and focussed on the oncoming Wire onslaught and the nerd to score first.

LSH had focussed but quite clearly they had not been to Specsavers as no one seemed to notice the large lads dressed in Red White and Green running with the ball. Again good movement of the ball created space out wide , and the home team took full advantage of the whole of the pitch to score in the corner, a towering touchline conversion that would have graced any arena , clearly galvanized the home side and wounded the visitors . For within minutes the home team had swept into the lead when another flowing backs moved allowed Warrington an unconveted try near the corner.

Loins were in need of girding and fingers were needed to be put in dykes otherwise LSH were to be swept away by the foaming Warrington torrent. Again Warrington swept forward and a rolling maul went close, the ref correctly calling the ball as not grounded. From the resultant scrum Warrington again appeared to have opened up the visitors with ease but a desperate tackle from Williams forced the ball free as the Wire man crossed the line.

More girding was provided by debutant colt Mark Poulton who picked up a loose ball , made inroads in the defence and won a clearing penalty.  So the game ebbed and flowed with Warrington looking most likely to add a try . More manful defending was needed from Holland ,Stu Hedley,and Anthony Sanders as The home side sought to tire the visitors pack. Following the introduction of Chris Mark at centre LSH gained better field position and Mark , Carlton and Henry went close.

Confidence grew in the visitors and from a lineout they started a rolling maul, as it went to ground and O Brien sought to recycle a Warrington player was penalised and sin binned for deliberately killing the ball and with 7 minutes to go this was the chance. Phil O Brien stepped forward and from 13 meters out directly in front pushed it wide. 'The poor lad and he is a poor lad' as the late Eddie Waring said.

Warrington nearly added a try but again determined covering forced the mistake and as Wayne Alexander sought to clear downfield, the referee judged he had been hit late and awarded a penalty 15 meters in from touch from where the ball ended.

There then ensued depending  on your team, constructive talks to help support the match official make the correct decision or conning the ref into giving a team an easier kick at goal. Older readers will remember Match of the Day in the 1970's when penalty spits would go missing in quagmires, Derby's Baseball ground being one in particular. In this case the 15 metre line was missing, Warrington offered one which was dismissed as frost or a remnant of the summer cricket boundary by LSH.So the referee paced out 15 metres, as the match official was not a 6 footer this looked like a mean 15 metres, Williams who had been roundly booed prior to kick off approached the referee and asked him politely to step away and take a look to his rear at the 15 metre mark behind him. Derision and abuse aplenty was directed  at Williams as the referee moved the ball another 3 metros in from touch. Phil O' Brien had calmed himself from his earlier poor strike and in the words of the prophet "it never looked like missing".  2 minutes to go could the visitors hold out, Warrington regained  the kickoff and marched upfield, but their advance is halted as LSH turn the ball over it is fed to the skipper to kick out, but in the sweating putrid fug that is the bottom corner the bearded centre is mistaken for clean shaven junior Happy Feet Brady.,Los Angeles jurors could not have made that mistake. The kick is charged down and the  referee shouts leave it LSH, showing rare discipline they do , and Warrington go right , daylight is seen in the LSH defence, the pass is made but before howls of despair can be shrieked gutturally into the air, they morph into yelps of relief as the Warrington player knocks on.  The referee then blew to end the game. All are mentioned in dispatches this week but special mentions go to two try skipper Ben Holland and the nerve of Phil O Brien to knock over the winner and Wayne Klinsman Alexander for his Golden Globe act.

So we close with the words of Omar from The Wire, "but the game's out there, and it's play or get played, That simple'

LSH MOM Ben Holland

By   Stringer Bell